One Death and One Promotion -- Are you successful?

He said, "I am 4 years old". I said I am 34. He said, "I can write numbers from 1-50". I said I can write programs in 2-3 languages. He said, "I can play and study whenever I like". I said I don't know when was I able to work and play as I liked. He said, "I have everything that I can think of." I said I don't have more than 10-12 things that I can think of". He said, "I am loved by everybody I know". I said I cannot say for sure how many people I know who really love me. He said, "I think I am successful". And at this last assertion, I just fell silent.

That little child could have said several other such things that would have trumped me. And perhaps I could have borrowed time to reply back to most of them. But, I must admit that this last one was a clear loss of face for me with no defined path to recovery. I mean how can I say whether I am successful or not. I don't even know how to define success, or quantify it, or to make any obvious statement about it. Where can I find something that clearly demonstrates how can one call himself successful?

Is success about achieving a set goal? That has to be the most simple definition of success. For example, I set a goal to write out this piece. And when I finish it, I should be called successful. A newspaper hawker, a milk vendor, laundry person, vegetable seller, a plumber, a traffic police person, an electrician and loads of other similar small-scale service providers should call themselves successful if they deliver their services. But if you ask the question, "Are you successful?", to all of them, will they say, "Yes"?

What about the quantification of success? Should delivery of N no. of newspapers actually mean success? Should a vegetable vendor exhaust all his supplies for the day to be called successful? Should they be saying that, "I was successful on some day and not so on some other day and not at all on some other."? From where can any of them find a yardstick to tell how much successful they were/are on any given day?

Should it matter if somebody says, "I was successful last year but not this year."? Should the span of time have any bearing on the measurement of success? Can we find people who say, "Over the past few years, I am not doing well"? Should the age of the person matter at all? How many of us would say that "Even after spending 30+ years on the Earth, I have very little to show as success"?

Are goals of success static or should they change over a period of time, say as a person ages? If playing at will was a goal at the age of 4, should it remain the goal at the age of 34? How and when to decide to add a new goal to the timeline of one's age? Who should decide that - us or others? If the goals of any two individuals, at any given point of time, are going to be different, is there any merit in comparing the success of those goals?

If you ask for my opinion, the definition and interpretation of success looks to be a very subjective thing. But then, why are people so obsessed about being successful in life? There has to be a mental, social and financial incentive to be successful. And if somebody really strives hard for a goal, he/she must be motivated to achieve what they may call success. From where does that incentive/motivation come from?

Is it to do with plenty of money, I mean much and much more? Or is it just the fame - local, national or international? And what if somebody gets both? Should he not be called successful, in fact very successful in terms of quantization of the goals of success? To be able to achieve daily bread, luxurious life, goodies to loved ones and self, and a capability to what you want. Won't all of that qualify as the traits of a successful person?

I can say I am kind of quasi-successful since I have no claim to fame, I have just enough money to put food on the table, I can occasionally take a short tour, I am unable to change job since last 1 year, I am unable to do or purchase a lot of things that my wife demands. I often feel I am worthless at this stage of my life. I slog like a donkey at times, hardly stay connected with friends, rarely go out for ad-hoc activities, and above all cannot do at will what I desire the most. I am the classic case of a proper failure at the midway of life.

Are we done defining what it takes to be successful? Let us take an example. Vivek Hallegere Murthy became the American Surgeon General at the age of 37. The youngest in terms of age. Shouldn't that be one of the most celebrated goals of success? Should he not be damn satisfied? Will that not continue to count as a success par excellence till he dies? The big question is, "Can he claim to be successful in all spheres of his public/private life?".

I would say that success is not transcendental. It has life span and utility. Otherwise, how could you explain the suicide of Everybody Loves Raymond actor Sawyer Sweeten, just 19 years old? He was popular, had loads of money, had a very loving family, endless career prospect and what not. Why would he not think of himself as Successful and be happy? Is success not the only thing that matters to most? People crave for it and yet here we have someone who shot himself. Why?

Do we derive any kind of satisfaction when we deem ourselves successful? Or is "The grass is always greener on the other side." syndrome applicable to people who are successful? When somebody becomes successful, should it not be the end of the road for any misadventure, misfortune or want? Why would anybody not be happy once successful? Are there more subtle layers of Success that I am not able to see?

Contentment and satisfaction have never been despised more than in the 21st century. There just cannot be a halt to your journey. One success should lead you to the other. Yes, I agree the show must go on. But on what costs and terms? Should it ignore the family, friends, health, honesty on its onward journey to bigger, grander success? Can there be any proclamations of success and then just put it into the cold bag?

Well, I am not successful at this depleting age anyhow. Are you successful?