According to the Hindu mythology, the most complete conversation about the Dharma, one’s values and practices, took place between Yaksha, the benevolent spirit, and Yudhishtira, the eldest son of Pandu. Even today the questions and their answers carry a lot of significance. They give you a very good understanding of the ethics of life. No doubt, Hindus revere them now and hereafter.
I wish to highlight another set of timeless questions that Draupadi, the wife of the Pandavas, put in front of the pantheon of the Kuru dynasty. She had been lost to the Kauravas in the ugly game of gambling, Chausara. Those questions sought replies not only from the legend of Bheeshma, Dronda, Krupachaarya, Dhrutaraashtra, and Vidur, but also to the rest of the civilized world, to us who are the inheritors of the past. What makes them invaluable is the context, pattern and organization of the society to which they belonged.
The one that haunts me the most is “Does a man own his wife? If yes, doesn’t he lose her the moment he loses himself? If no, how can one individual offer another up for grabs without his/her consent?” Yudhishtira had no answers. Others were silent too. She kept insisting for the answer. Finally, Bheeshma did break his silence and opined that “A man has every right over his wife.” To this Draupadi ripostes that “If this is the case then isn’t the man responsible for safeguarding the honour and life of his wife?” No more answers were given.
During those days women were accorded a high social pedestal. There voices were heard and good measures taken. Still, through this incident, the treatment of women as the objects of rebuke, vengeance and lust whenever things get a little bit ugly. What occurred before and after Draupadi came up with these questions can be discussed separately though that information is no less useful. The situation demands a careful study indeed.
Men have not learned any lesson in this matter. They continue to dominate, own, trample and humiliate women brazenly. We do get odd reporting of an event of men selling women for as hideous a thing as prostitution as well as a petty thing like a bottle of wine. Sometimes they stand on the side of the victim and at other times, they will be colluding with the perpetrators of the crime. They may feel bad when their own women get insulted but any other case can garner only lip service from them.
Both the contemporary and previous women folk have been subjected to this type of questionnaire more often than not. Alas, we have no answers even now. Of course, laws and regulations are there to protect and uphold women rights but that is it. Laws are paperwork if not implemented. A modern day Draupadi can be found so easily. Oppression of women, physical and mental, continues unabated.
Those answers must be researched to really ascertain what women mean to our society in particular and humanity in general. We treat women in ways that suit our needs for the occasion. Tradition is always tweaked and adulterated to drive home the purpose. Rape, molestation, punishment etc. are ways used to treat women when enemies want to settle scores, be it individual, group, countries or whatever.
A good society hoping to continue its journey into time must define an unbreakable code of conduct w.r.t. women. If men do the job, the groundwork is done by the women. They are complimentary for the society. They must be given the security and opportunity they need to live a life of dignity and purpose.
No Dharma is more important than establishing women as equals, at least.
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