Deepa Deedee's Wedding

Marriages are one of those few, sacred occasions where people generally gain more than they lose. Inhibitions are broken, malice is done away with, love is what people tend to talk about and unity in diversity is the flavour of the dessert. Deepa deedee is Harsha’s elder sister. She got married to Umesh jee. She is a native of Gulbarga. Umesh hails from Bidar. Many souls in the city got the invitation to attend their marriage. I got added allurements of getting the opportunity to have the first-person details about a Marathi-Kannada alliance and chance to make the first visit to Gulbarga. Also, Harsha is one of those fellows who can be ignored as a friend and intellectual at one’s own peril.

Reaching Gulbarga

It was Saturday evening when I reached Yeshwantpur to board Basava Express. Reservations were in place and the general feedback on the train running time was good. When I stepped on to the platform No.1, it was 4’o clock and the scheduled departure of the train was 90 minutes later. There was already one train on the platform with name plates showing names of 5 different cities alongside 5 distinct train numbers. At the first glance, I was sure that this is not my train. Also, the coach no. of my reservation was N3 which was unheard of till that time. For dispelling early doubts, I scanned the length of the train to find out if there was any coach named “N3”. I could not find one and decided to relax.

The official status for the station is a Junction but the facilities are nowhere to be seen - only one tea shop minus the tea. No shades for the larger part of the platform where this train was stationed. No one was there at the Enquiry counter. Alas! This is not the story of just one station but there are several Yeshwantpurs in India. I comforted myself on a bench. My idea was that my train will come to the platform some 30 minutes prior to the scheduled departure. To give company, a Maaza bottle was in my hand.

At around 5 PM, the announcer started doing usual rounds about departure of Basava Express and he reiterated the information I already had. But the train was nowhere to be seen. With butterflies in my stomach, I started making some effort to obtain the exact whereabouts of the train. But as I said, no one was in a position to help. Another 10 minutes to go, I became frantic. Luckily, one of the passengers inside the strange, multi-city named train told me that it was Basava Express. I was destined to believe him. Next, where was the fancied N3 coach? TTEs helped me in realizing that certain seats in S3 are reserved using the name N3. Big relief, you see. I had barely moved into the train when it chugged on.

The co-passengers in my compartment were of various age groups. A young girl of age 7, perhaps, and an aged man, in early sixties, marked the lower and upper bound of that spectrum. It is just a courtesy service to remind the readers that the measurement of the fondness of the journey comes with the quality of rapport you can establish with your companions. A journey undertaken alone seldom gives the complete joy of reaching the destination. They all looked quite reserved and the vast difference in age meant that it was not easy to pick the soft target right away. A teenaged girl was totally tight-lipped so she got ruled out immediately. There were three ladies, all in their late 40s, who obviously had a lot to curse and fume about. The two kids were hooked to the window seats and could not be lured into any conversation. The old man was looking tired but exchanged the gestures promptly. There was a Marathi couple as well who was travelling up to Sholapur.

The Lok Sabha election results were declared that evening. This helped the male elders to start a conversation. I snatched the opportunity and pitched in with my opinions. This allowed me to become a little more comfortable with them. They all could speak Hindi and that made things much easier. They offered me food items, books to read and lots of inputs about the weather in Gulbarga. And then they ensured that I woke up at correct time to alight at Gulbarga. The train reached 30 minutes prior to the schedule. Many thanks to them, otherwise I would have ended up I don’t know where.

Reaching the Marriage Hall

Harsha’s house was just a km away from the station. I ended up paying Rs.30 for that distance. But then that will happen anywhere in the world if you land at the station at 5:30 in the morning – the price rigging. :) So, no complaints. There was a park near his house which had a Lord Shiva temple at one end of the rectangular structure. The temple was well-built with ample seating spaces near the Gopuram. The door of the temple opened to a small pathway lined with seating benches on either side. In fact, it was a playground and not a park as we did not have plants and trees. The main door was made of iron bars so that I could seek the blessings of the Almighty without entering the temple. A devotee cum traveler cannot ask for a better beginning at dawn.

10 minutes wait near the temple and Harsha was there to welcome me. We met like lost brothers and were shouting at the top of our voices. He was visibly happy to see me there and my joy just cannot be paraphrased. :) The early morning breeze was also there to greet me and the notorious Gulbarga heat was nowhere to be experienced. We walked into the house which was just 100 meters away. The power supply was there. Windows were open to allow cool ventilation. Not many things were in order as you can expect. It’s like somebody preparing for the exams just a day before. Weddings are just fine to attend but never easy to arrange and manage. I’m a sort of veteran in the area of attending nuptials. The count will be 50+. So, I knew how to justify the chaos that confronted me. But, frankly speaking, I was also little perplexed to be there. But, among all the guests, I was the privileged one to be accommodated right at the host’s den. And this was an honour in itself.

Water supply was restored 15 minutes after Harsha left me. He asked me to settle down, get fresh and then speak to one of his friend, who lived upstairs, to take me to the place of real action. I thanked him a lot for all these gestures. Some heartfelt, some customary. J The immediate target was to respond to the Nature’s fiercest call and I could not afford to wait for the water supply to be up and running. There was some water in a small plastic tank in the bathroom. I took the plunge by just glancing at the depth and not measuring it. :) 30 minutes later I was ready, fresh from a good bath. Harsha’s brother-in-law visited in between. Such a nice gentleman with a down-to-earth approach. In the absence of Harsha’s father, he took up the baton of being the male elder in the family and organized the entire event almost single-handedly. How often can you meet an individual like him who grows up to be an institution in a single mould of bones and flesh? I can only wonder.

The city is not big in terms of area and major centers of business and social activities are all located within a periphery of 10 kilometers from the Railway station. I found out that the marriage hall was just a kilometer away and in no time I decided that this is the opportunity to walk and explore the early morning mood. I took tea at a roadside shop and spent sometime in realizing that the way people go about their daily lives becomes so interwoven in the culture and ethos of the places they live in. And this is so fundamental to the human race which means that the difference on the surface of humanity is necessary to vindicate the various gifts of Mother Nature. People just fail to acknowledge that and embrace the fact that humans are born alike and thus must be allowed to die with the same dignity.

The Wedding Ceremony

Rameshwar Sabhagruha is well-known in Gulbarga for its spacious main hall, big-sized rooms, neat kitchen facilities and good ventilation. High-ceiling fans were installed at regular intervals to cover the entire hall. They were running at good speed though their effort seemed to be dwarfed by the scorching heat outside the hall. The white, plastic Neelkamal chairs were neatly laid on either side of the aisle. The podium was decorated with layers of flowers of myriad shapes and colours. Good-looking wooden frames were used throughout to support these decorations as well as add a glitter of their own. The name of the couple was embossed in between the flower patterns. The floor of the podium was even more stunning with Rangoli formation of a sunflower in hues of blue, red, yellow, green and smoke black. A sight to behold and capture in memories for ever.

There were many guests when I entered at around 9 AM. Most of them were busy in preparing for the function. Some were chatting merrily. Kids were using the chairs as instruments of playmaking to a telling effort. Some chairs were as good as torn to pieces because of ruthless tramping and collisions. Poor them. J I took a seat close to where a fan was placed. An old man offered me tea and I can’t say for sure if that was really needed. I drank it anyhow and the rate of sweating increased with every sip. :) People were ready for the breakfast and I spared no time in joining them.

The eating hall was in a building adjacent to that of the main hall. It was also on the ground floor compared to the main hall which was on the first floor. The hall could accommodate 100 people at a time. The kitchen was attached to it. I had a peep inside the kitchen and found it be typical, 1930s like Indian chamber of food preparation. Dish-washing was carried out 5ft away from where the steps, leading to the eating hall, ended. The entrance of the eating hall was 5ft away to the right of the steps. So, good use of space was made but the choice of location may draw some irking remarks. As is the trend these days, bottled, supposedly mineral water was made available. Few seats were placed alongside the middle of one of the walls.

Upma, Idli, Dosa, Kaaraa Baatha and Poodee-Saagu were of offer and I ate to the brim, heat and humidity notwithstanding. One cup each of hot tea and coffee completed the breakfast. Some of the guests quickly became companions owing to my Gentleman-like behavior. They told me interesting things about the place and the Kannadigaa people. I was more than pleased though the heat was getting in to the top echelons of my body slowly and steadily.

Harsha made a very brief appearance and introduced me to some of his fast friends. All good chaps with plenty of sense of humour. I had a good time owing to their company. They made me do a couple of short trips out of the function hall under the relentless sun. My handkerchief was crying for some respite as well. :) It must have soaked at least half a liter of sweat by then. But because of these mini-adventures out in the market allowed me to purchase a good envelope to put the money I wanted to present. The ceremony was approaching fast.

Around 13:00 hours, everybody settled into their seats and the main ceremony started. Lots of religious chants, traditional dos, flower and rice sprinkling, mixed with instructional music, kept us glued to the podium and slightly away from the agony of heat. Each member of the families of the bride and the groom took turns to perform some or the other rites and blessed the couple with loads of wishes and goodies. The groom was wearing a crown made of pearls and silver strips, was clad in a Dhotee and wore a hibiscus garland over a thick gold chain. The bride was looking beautiful in a plain blue-violet saadee. Her hair were neatly tied with a string of white roses and they made a very pretty headgear. Her jewelry was simple and traditional and I was happy to note this simplicity. The whole drama was much to my expectation of a simple, traditional stuff without any pomp and show.

After the wedding vows were exchanged, one unique action unfolded. The brother of the groom paraded him up and down the aisle in a boastful manner as if he a jackpot winner was showcasing his winning horse much to the delight of the onlookers. :) People on either side of the aisle showered flowers and Akshata. Some shouted slogans and others assumed themselves to be professional photographers for the moment. All in all, the atmosphere of the hall and the mood of the gathering were ecstatic. Heat had taken a backseat. Delicious sweet drinks were pressed into service and suddenly, the joy and camaraderie outshone any grudge or grief the people in the hall carried.

The Return

Lunch was called for soon after at around half past two. It was difficult to be in the eating hall with so many people around. Heat was causing lot of suffocation and unfortunately, we did not have any ventilators. Yet, the quality of food was good and all the cultural items from Karnataka were on the menu. Buttermilk and Jowar Roti/Baingan kee Sabjee were my favourites. I ate a lot more than what was required. I indeed needed a bed to rest after the sumptuous meal. But it was not to be. Instead, I spent quality time with Harsha and his friends.

My return journey started at 8:30 in the evening. All well-wishers were there on the platform to see me off. I was happy and sad together for obvious reasons. I thanked them all for the great time I had and prayed for the newly-weds. On reaching the Bangalore City Railway Station, I congratulated myself for a day well spent and recollected the memories of enthusiasm, cultural ethos and friendship. These are the values and earnings that I wish each one us continue to accumulate. :)